kate LTHC

i dont want to be part of something that that links me to them.
some sort of fad,not anymore.
i used to...but who the fuck didnt..
and your lying if you say you never did.

them...meaning anything ..anything so fucking clech'e
drunk messes and skanky life styles.
you look fourty before you've left your teens.

sad.

and im the one missing out?

pay day comes just in time for saturday night.
account dry by sunday morning

and im the one missing out?

lying on the couch watching shit t.v eating fucknig everything.
and getting fat.
smoke a bong..
watch your life pass you by
jobless, careless, fucking mess

and im the one missing out?

Im healthy
i dont smoke dope or cigarettes.
im lucky if i drink more than 3x a year.
i buy couches and new t.v's i go on holidays
and skitrips and buy new cars
im happy and in love
i earn my ay wityh a full time job.

but shit....

im not geting trashed and throwing up,
sleeping anywhere i can and fucking up.
im not loosing shit and getting felt up.

damn....

sounds like im really missing out.

get a fucking clue......???

havn't been on here for years..prbably has been.
i realised the last "time" i used LJ was probably for all the wrong reasons.
i dont know.

life's good!

amelia getting married has blown me out of the water, awsome news but still far out.
i better be the fuckin real drunk one slering words pulling down the alter and ruining the wedding day! yeah! dont worry that'l be me.

seeing renee on the train the other day was good.

friendship with monique is fuckin dead to me.

dont stab me in the fuckin back ever!!! cos it ends messy.

life:
work
sleep
shop
food

YEAH REAL EXCITING!

growing hair hair out = major regrowth = general pissed off mood most days!

damn

you always have to make changes in your life
i jsut think that maybe i never thought i could.
there was a way i was suppsoe to dress, talk and act.
well its boring now.
and my sudden change of attitude towards the world is good but a little dangerous.
i got punched the other day
for standing up for what i beleive in.
ha
hows that... my morals have to be hidden too.
well i like that i am standing up for myself and maybe i jsut need to work on to what extent and how far i take that.
im sick of my own skin.
the way i act and how i live my life.
i need a change.
im going back blonde for summer.
its my hair colour i have always been blonde up until afew years ago.
i need that part of me back.
im gonig to loose the weight i need to.
and im gonig to act , talk and dress exactly how i want.
goodbye
x

my life is not exactly how i planned it to be and i most definately have contradicted myself immensly throughout my days.

i had rain in my shoes today :(


oh how my life dissapoints me...

i coludnt believe it....

FUCK

he went round to (sarahs) house he seemed a little too happy for my liking...something was up.
odd and she should have guessed so, he asked her to join him for a bombfire and taquilla on the beach.
sitting rather quietly on the beach (jason) drinks his sorrows away.
(sarah) awaiting to do nothing but make out leaves him for a momment to find some wood to boost the fire.
returning to (jason) drunk out of his mind...he thinks he can now do anything...
"im going to go for a climb" clenching the bottle of taquilla in one hand and making his way up the cliff.
"(jason) get down from there you will hurt yourself"
now staggering around continuing to drink on (sarah) calls (shera and cody) for help.
by the time they arrived, (sarah) was scared out of her mind for (jasons) safety ...
(jason) getn really pissed with the prescence of (cody), steps alittle closer to the edge of the cliff
"proving" once and for all that cody cant always be the savior.
and slips...
the look on (codys) face was like something i hadn't seen before...reality check if i dare say.
and jsut like that.....(jason) died..


jason- johnney
sarah- caitlyn
shera- marissa
cody -ryan


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

O.C fan?

xox

so today...as glenda told me, is the first day of the rest of my life.
today...i woke with a smile, my heart beets but twice
today...my angel shon down upon me
today...he made her cry
today...i took a pallet and a brush and painted my canvas black.
today...is a day i wont forget.
Today...my heart is hurting,
today...i said goodbye
today...i held your mum whilst she cried
today...my heart feels lonely
today...my heart beets just once
today...my smile ran away.
today...i saw your hands in hers
today...she was named after you.
today...i realised something...

that today...i have to let you go...
my heart. my soul. my love.

so today was awsome in a very unintersting way haha....
2 hours of suicide girls and not to much more than that..a lazy day if i dare say...
i missed today...maybe not quit as much as yesterday but still more than anticiapted...
we had chinese for dinner and fried icecream for desert it treated me well.
its hot and rather humid...maybe too much for my liking but don't worry im sure everyone is aware of it by this point haha.\

my mum ran tonight...i missed the sound of her voice.
i spoke to my dad yesterday and cried.

tom and i have been having afew D'n'M's of late unexpected whaen they do but comforting and enjoyable non the less.

we have 5 days remaining in brisbane/bribie pines/island...
ts been great.

we met nicky for new york slice last night and then trecked to the rev, an old church now a venue for bands etc...i couldnt bring myself to drink alcahol inside a fricken church.

although i should have more a grudge against them than anything.
my mother had a fight with the priest who was supposed to baptise me and then wouldnt....\
obvioulsy not church goers now ofcourse...

in drifting..

i had my web redone...

i miss monique and jai more than anyone..
my parents and sister follow just after.

im tired and agrivated...
i need sleep and a lnog sleep in.
\
i guess im off for now.
much love and i wll be home on the 18th.

i miss jesse :(

much love everyone...
xoxoxoxo

i dont know...maybe,maybe i just miss it,miss you,miss how shit used to go unno...
maybe,maybe i think how it is now prevents me from maybe....TOO much.
then again...maybe now...these days, how shit rolls is jsut how it is suppsoed to right now unno...
that maybe,maybe this is all jsut part of the game.

and the first dream said i wouldnt live to see next year.
and the second said dont paln for your 18th
and the third my plane to brisbane crashed,
and i woke up to not being able to breathe...

wtf is going on...

maybe,maybe this is a warning
either way...it has officially freaked the fuck out of me.
:(

peace
xxxx

i have money again :D

MUTHA FUCK!

aiight so i miss renee face heaps!
:(
i remembered this morning whilst talking to my father just how much im going to miss wondering into ur house at like 4am getting to massive cups of water and dying in your bed until 1 in the afternoon...waking up and eating eggs on toast.

the afternoons we would have watching operah and random movies i.e-HONEY and other movies i was preety much sure i would never watch haha.

your ovally WISE dog

our oh so long walks to moniques or jai's.. or down to teh bottlo haha.and just our walks in general.

MONDAY NIGHTS RENEE.....they may not have happened of late but i miss them....a bag full of booze, a beach, a bong and 2 idiots....(the whole beach has been sifted) HAHAHA

well yeah i miss you already..so does jai and so does monique im sure alex does too...:(:(:(

hope your having fun darling girl.
and i shall make sure i visit this week.
much love kiddo....much love

xxxx

today is thursday and i now have 40 cents to my name WOOOOOOOT! haha its the end of a fun filled ride...
the end to a fukn amazing year....to think back.

i started yr 12 to a wicked breakfast at kims house....pancakes, muffins and atleast 8 of the most awsome HCS girls haha.
i then left aleast a month into year 12.
i worked full time at LAKE COOLANGATTA until...that went out of seasonal business.
i then moved out to some wicked apartments in glenelg.
i lived with loni and our floor partys we're so so so much better than yours.
i was unemployed for a month and went thruogh so much centrelink CRAP.
i then went for a job interview one day at 10 after not sleeping teh night before, halfway through being scattered and still buzzing...
i then got that apprenticship as a chef.
i LOVED it and learnt so much.
i gave up everything to do this job.
i have the best memories EVER and friendships from it.
i miss it now :(
i eventually called it enough and dave said i could pick it up later in life if i chose too...
i most probably will.
i packed up and left for a random trip to sydney staying with someone i met of myspace haha woooot.
i had yet again so much fun...
i met loveloy lovely ppl and made out heaps.
i remember drunk nights at the gaelic club, drunk nights at proper school, trips to the aquarium, drunk nights with kisschasy boys and downing the last taquilla shot at 7am,
i remember GRINDCORE cruise boat, and cheddar.
i remember sarah and tazzie oh god i remember brett even haha..
i miss then folk.
i had some wicked nights and wicked partys.
i got heaps blazed for a while there.
i got heaps trashed midday for a while there.
i went to melbourne....oh FUCK
i met some amazing ppl.
i did everything and anything i didnt think i would do and ..I LOVED IT!
i took drgs and met new ppl.
i loved it!
i enrolled back in school.
i am now looking forward to:
.getting teh christmas tree.
.new years eve.
.5th-18th- BRISBANE- the end of it all. the fianl party before its all over........
.getting school stuff organised.
.BACK TO SCHOOL.
fuckin i dunno there is alot ahead of me right now..

and i love it!


spelling is definately gongi to be an issue in this as i cant be fucked looknig over it again...

peace
x

im so tired of this.
the whole "explaining myself" shit.
there simply seems to be one saga after another and i seem to be contradicting myself, being hypocritical, crying to myuch for my own good and simply...simply...hurting far far too much.
i am...

so, so over this.
i am...

hurting, far, far too much.

i can't...
care anymore...


i feel like closing my eyes, breathing slowely, crying and never standing to my feet again.
i want to be alone now.
i want to just....sit and be alone.

i need to be able to jsut...be
without explaining it to anyone..

i am...

so beyond caring.

this weekend.
we had a car accident.
this weekend.
i lost 4 best mates.
this weekend.
my heart hurts and i havn't slept properly.
this weekend.
i can't stop crying.
this weekend.
a mate could have overdosed.
this weekend.
is one i wont forget.
this weekend.
i hurt more than i could possibly imagine.


and now...

all i want is to be free....

the following ppl made me happy THIS weekend...

NYSSA(REGION)
STEPH(CRUCIAL
EMMA(RAD)
LAE(COS SHE DOES)
BEK(COS SHES ADORABLE)
NATHAN(COS HES AN AMAZING DANCER WITH AN AMAAZING SMILE)
raymond(COS HES A SWEETIE)
DYLAN!!!!(cos HE IS BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU)
JOSH ( FOR BEING A GOOD DUDE AND LOOKNIG AFTER NYS)
JARROD(FOR BEING MY DRUNK BEST FRIEND FOR THE EVENING AND THE MOST CRAPPY DANCER:p)
ROB( for being so fukn friendly and amazing and giving)
pete (for digin everything and taking the worst photos)
pixie ( for being such a cutie)
cahill (for being the biggest un adelaide bogan HAHA)

everyone who danced with me and LOVED it!



i love my life to absolute pieces right now!
and i love all of you to pieces...

much love my happy people <3

i looked away, then i looked back at you.
You tried to say,the things you cant undo....

if i had my way, i'd never get over you
today's the day i pray that we make it through,
make it through the fall,
make it through it all.

And i dont want to fall to pieces,
i just want to sit and stare at you....

XXXXXXX

im going out....

dressing up with nys and steph and getn offtap..

and unno what we're going to a ball

haha

i actual havn't felt this awsome in forever...

nys and steph you 2 are my favourites!!!

xxxx

when the status changes to single....

:(

man ...

that sucked

oh well...

the following ppl are amazing:

butters,sean,nyssa,jesse, xstarsx ,rachel,tank,jordan,alex,renee,tash,ali,scott,rachel,jamie...

jsut to name afew who are making me smile so much these days.

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

listen to BORN SLIPPY- NUXX

xxxx

its all about timing...
and maybe this may be the only good thing to come out of it...

2 days will tell i suppose.

in a world where the little things can always make u happy and that one person....can always make your heart smile....
dont rely on it...becasue you will never mean nearly as much as they meant to you...

cos there is something about you that i cant quit figure out....cos everything u do is beautiful and everything u do is right....
and i'll cry today and ill cry tonight
but you will never see these tears.. and to you...i seem fine

im heart broken for the first time...

:(

weird as feeling right now

its making me feel all *inserts certain undescribable feeling here* yeahhhhhhhhhh

i like it though..

on another note... time spent with butters, nyssa, sean and jesse makes me smile....

good times, good times

*inserts seans new ringtone here* HAHAHAHAHAHAH

night night adelaide

FUCK I MISSED THE BLEEDERS!!!! :@

love you all
xxxx

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